The silence is deafening! An abortion should be safe and guilt-free, my older self tells my terrified younger self.
"The silence is deafening! An abortion should be safe and guilt-free, my older self tells my terrified younger self. And yet, I had to deal with the mental health ramifications from a decision that was the best ever and turned my life around.”
It wasn’t the physical health issues. I have dealt with those in my healthcare practice, within the scope of what I can do. A lady who went into a coma because they sought a shady clinic, someone who got an infection that changed the course of their lives. Reports of many such unsafe abortions, lives shaken even and deaths amongst women and LGBTQ+ folks are surfacing and triggering our collective trauma. Despite that I am sure that better sense will prevail and we will make change possible.
For me, the circumstances surrounding the abortion as a survivor of domestic abuse who managed to get a divorce back then in India were tough. There was the silence and the lack of mental health support. The fact is I may have still been in an abusive marriage if I did not, however unsafely, terminate my pregnancy. Subconsciously, I’m sure I wanted to conform with the stifling, unexamined narrative of ‘a good person’, ‘a good Indian person’. On the other hand my sister had an abortion without any qualms because she felt her 2nd pregnancy was impacting her career and untimely and later went on to adopt her second child and became an advocate for adoption in India!
I managed to get back on my feet, continued working and eventually even got remarried. Now marriage or parenthood does not define anybody. But I look at my two lovely, idealistic kids and I am in awe of them. Like them, I always want to protect the weak and the vulnerable - and currently it is the women and lgbtq+ folks that by race or gender or socio-economic strata lack healthcare access.
When the Roe v Wade decision was passed, it was hard to get out of bed. It is like the same witch hunt all over again. When we tell our stories we render ourselves vulnerable. But somewhere, someone listening to me may realize it’s ok. It’s ok to have a safe abortion because that is your personal decision, no one else’s business, you owe no one an explanation, it is basic healthcare, it is your human right. Whatever be the reason behind your decision, it is yours to make. You are not alone, and I hope, like me, you make it because you’re precious and you are a gift to the world.