4+ years later, my abortion remains one of the best decisions I made.

I had an abortion. It continues to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made because it was the decision that was right for me. No trauma, no regrets; just 100% relief and confidence.

Over 4 years ago, I was on a form of birth control which is effective over 99% of the time. Yet, it failed and I found myself unintentionally and unwillingly pregnant. I knew immediately that an abortion was right for me and took immediate action to schedule my care. I had an overwhelming number of things going in my favor and even then, I faced so many undue burdens to get the health care I deserved and desperately needed. My experience further reminded me that legality never equaled access and, while Roe was a foundational ruling, it was never enough.

I found out the earliest possible time that I was pregnant, so I wasn’t scared I wouldn’t be able to get the services I needed — even if they took time (spoiler: they did). I had the finances and partner support to cover the travel, the procedure, the lodging - all of which amounted to nearly $1,000 - double the amount of what would force over half of Americans into debt. (A reminder: abortion funds are a resource for folks). Additionally, I was surrounded by pro-choice/pro-abortion friends and colleagues, including abortion providers, who were supportive every step of the way. Unfortunately, despite me taking immediate action to have my abortion, OH’s targeted restrictions on abortion providers (TRAP laws) caused a 2 week delay in my care.

First, I had to navigate a medically unnecessary 24 hour waiting period between my consultation and abortion. Because TRAP laws have screwed over abortion clinics in OH (resulting in insufficient providers for the care needed), the soonest my providers could schedule me for the earliest possible abortion (medication or procedural) was 1 week after my consultation. During this time, I was forced to open a document that stated how far along I was in my pregnancy, if there was any cardiac activity detected, and the probability that I could successfully maintain my pregnancy to full term if I chose not to abort. I opened it and knew this document was just meant to traumatize and dissuade people from having abortions decisions but I remained steadfast in my decision. Yet, the website “glitched”, failed to record that I opened it (even though I could recite everything off of it verbatim), and my abortion provider was legally forbidden to perform my abortion. So they had to sign a document attesting I read it and schedule me for the soonest available appointment - another week out. While I felt relief knowing my care was scheduled, I faced a key issue: my body was violently rejecting my pregnancy.

In between my consultation and my initial scheduled appointment for my abortion, I became incredibly sick with hyperemesis gravidarum (a severe pregnancy complication characterized by extreme nausea, weakness, and dehydration). For almost two weeks, I wasn’t able to hold down an overwhelming majority of meals or any kinds of drinks, including water. I was throwing up bile multiple times a day, every day. I remembered my stomach feeling like it was being painfully vacuumed suctioned, my teeth feeling like they were becoming eroded, and my mouth constantly tasted like sour metal. Doctors prescribed me multiple nausea medicines that they described as being “just a notch below what [they’d] give chemo patients”. Yet, I couldn’t even keep those medications in my system. Quickly, I became alarmingly dehydrated and was on the verge of becoming hospitalized multiple times but I was terrified of medical debt/ bankruptcy so I refused to go to the ER. In under two weeks, I had dropped over 10% of my body weight (10 lbs) and doctors were concerned and convinced that such rapid weight loss and the accompanying malnourishment would only continue unless a serious intervention took place.

Luckily for me, once I went through with the abortion (a easy and painless 5 minute procedure), my symptoms went away almost immediately. Within an hour of my procedure, my hyperemesis had completely disappeared and I was able to hold down 12oz of ginger beer and a tiny pack of 4 saltine crackers - the first “meal” I had and kept down in two weeks. I remember crying tears of joy over what had seemed like such a major victory at the time. It felt like my body and the life I envisioned for myself returned to me. And ever since that day, my body has continued to feel like mine — as it should.

My abortion is always something I have looked back on with utmost confidence and relief. My decision to get an abortion and the actual experience of having an abortion were never traumatic; navigating barriers to care & the hyperemesis were traumatic. After my abortion, I remember feeling alone because I hadn’t heard of experiences like mine until after I began sharing my story with others. Mainstream media tends to highlight stories dominated by white women and/or people who had some trauma around their decision and experience; all those experiences are valid, they were just not like mine. That’s a large part of why I share my story - to do my best to ensure that no one else feels alone, that they feel supported, and to further normalize abortions. The more I share my story, the more countless others (including South Asian folks) share theirs with me, and the more I remember that everyone loves someone who has had an abortion.

I stand firm that neither I nor anyone who seeks an abortion owes it to anyone to be traumatized by their experience. Everyone’s abortion experiences are valid, and they don’t need to be partially or wholly justified to anyone. Rather, we need to support their efforts to make healthcare decisions that are right for them - and protect their access to that health care.

To folks who are heartbroken, angered, and confused at SCOTUS’ decision to overturn Roe - you have a community behind and alongside you. I urge you to unapologetically support abortion access for all - no ifs or buts. Please donate to local abortion funds that are providing people with the financial and logistical support they need to access their care (www.abortionfunds.org). Avoid fear-mongering in the form of outdated coat hanger imagery to stigmatize self-managed abortions (SMAs). Instead, check out www.plancpills.org to learn more about self-managed abortions which consist of people sourcing highly safe and effective abortion pills online. And if you are ever navigating an abortion - especially in a hostile climate - please know that you are not alone. Check out www.abortionfinder.org for safe and compassionate care options. Your experience, whatever it is and whoever you are, is valid. All people deserve full access to safe, compassionate, and effective abortion care, and I’ll be in a community with you to continue fighting this good fight.